Life is not fair
We clearly have no choice about how we come inlớn this world, we have little choice early in life, but as we grow older choices abound. I have sầu long believed that while we have sầu no control over the beginning of our life, the overwhelming majority of us have sầu the ability to lớn influence the outcomes we attain. Fair is a state of mind, and most often, an unhealthy state of mind.
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In business, in politics, và in life, most of us are beneficiaries of the outcomes we have contributed khổng lồ. Our station in life cannot, or at least should not, be blamed on our parents, our teachers, our pastors, our government, or our society - it’s largely based on the choices we make, & the attitudes we adopt.
People have overcome poverty, drug addiction, incarceration, abuse, divorce, mental illness, victimization, and virtually every challenge known lớn man. Life is full of examples of the uneducated, the mentally và physically challenged, people born into war-torn impoverished backgrounds, who could have sầu complained about life being unfair, but who instead chose a different path – they chose to overcome the odds & lớn leave sầu the world better than they found it. Regardless of the challenges they faced, they had the character to lớn choose contribution over complaint.
I don’t dispute that challenges exist. I don’t even dispute that many have an uphill battle due khổng lồ the severity of the challenges they face. What I vehemently dispute is attempting khổng lồ regulate, adjudicate, or legislate fairness somehow solves the world’s problems. Mandates don’t create fairness, but people’s desire & determination can work around or overcome most life challenges.
It doesn’t matter whether you are born with a silver spoon, plastic spoon, or no spoon at all. It’s not the circumstances by which you come into lớn this world, but what you make of them once you arrive sầu that matter. One of my clients came to this country from Africa in his late teens, barely spoke the language, drove a cab while working his way through college, & is now the President of a large technology services firm. Stories such as this are all around us – they are not miracles, nor are they the rare exception. They vị however demonstrate blindness to the mindmix of the fairness doctrine.
From a leadership perspective, it’s a leader’s obligation lớn vày the right thing, regardless of whether or not it’s perceived as the fair thing. When leaders attempt to lớn navigate the slippery slope of fairness, they will find themselves arbiter of public opinion và hostage lớn the politically correct. Fair isn’t a standard khổng lồ be imposed unless a leader is attempting lớn impose mediocrity. Fair blends to lớn a norm, và in doing so, it limits, inhibits, stifles, & restricts, all under the guise of balance and eunique. I believe fair only exists as a rationalization or justification. The following 11 points came from a commencement speech widely attributed to lớn Bill Gates entitled Rules for Life. While many dispute the source, whether it was proffered by Bill Gates or not, I tover lớn agree with the hypothesis:
Rule 1: Life is not fair -- get used khổng lồ it!
Rule 2: The world won"t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you lớn accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won"t be a vice-president with a oto phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
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Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it"s not your parents" fault, so don"t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren"t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes và listening lớn you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent"s generation, try delousing the clophối in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have sầu abolished failing grades & they"ll give sầu you as MANY TIMES as you want khổng lồ get the right answer. This doesn"t bear the slighchạy thử resemblance to lớn ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don"t get summers off & very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have khổng lồ leave the coffee cửa hàng and go to lớn jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you"ll end up working for one.
Here’s the thing – we all face challenges, và life treats us all unfairly. We all make regrettable choices, và we all suffer from things thrust upon us bởi vì to lớn little if any fault of our own. When I suffered a debilitating stroke at an early age, I certainly asked myself “why did this happen to lớn me?” I could have felt sorry for myself và became bitter, I could have sầu thrown in the towel and quit on my family and myself – I didn’t. It took two years of gut-wrenching effort, but what I thought was a great injustice at the time changed my life for the better. Today, you couldn’t tell I ever had a stroke. The greatest adversity life can throw at you simply affords you an opportunity to make changes, improve, và get better.
By the title of today’s column you have sầu no doubt surmised I believe sầu life is not fair, nor vì I believe sầu we should attempt to socially or financially engineer it khổng lồ be such. Fair is not an objective term – it is a matter of perspective sầu filtered by a subjective assessment. My subjective sầu assessment is that fair is an entitlement concept manufactured to appease those who somehow feel slighted. Life isn’t fair - #occupyreality
